I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
