i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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