I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
