I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
