do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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