Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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