I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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