told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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