Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
