bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She's the barista slut.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
