That's intense
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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