I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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