You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
