is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize