I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
