at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
