im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
