Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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