I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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