He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize