Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
