He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The ass gains better be worth it
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