we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
