Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
