Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
