Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
