The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize