At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
