Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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