i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
