hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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