In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize