he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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