This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
