You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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