Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
