I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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