Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sext me about skeletons
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
