you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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