they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
