Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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