Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
