I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
