I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
