When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
