Porn is love you can see.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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