I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
