this boner is exhausting
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
