i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
