his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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