ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Be still, my beating vagina.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
