butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
