3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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