Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
