i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
smell my finger.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
