I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
