I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I die, sorry about rent.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
