let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
