I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
