These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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