roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
